I’m OK, I Promise

Dear Reader,

Welcome to another not so diary entry, this was written over two days (yesterday and today). Something is terribly wrong with me. I am finding it increasingly hard to hold it together. I am not coping right now.

I’m going to put a trigger warning on this. Continue reading

Hoarding and Impulse Buying

Dear Reader,

I am an impulse buyer, and a bit of a hoarder, my problem generally is limited to optical media (and cartridge/tape/vinyl). My Film / Game / Music collection is far too big. I haven’t played or watched the majority of the things I own and probably never will. Just last year I threw away over 300 cases of DVDs and kept the discs because they were taking up so much room I couldn’t do anything in my bedroom. Continue reading

The Support of Family

Dear Reader,

We are brought up to believe our parents will always be there for us. But we get to a point where we can look after ourselves. It’s at this point, in our relationship with our parents, that things change. And whilst I always thought my parents would be there for me (and I’m sure if I could get over my fear and told them the truth, they would be to an extent) there comes a time when you start to realise what’s best for your parents, what is gong to upset them and what they really need to know and sometimes not telling then things is actually better for them than telling them everything. Continue reading

Physical Depression and Me

Dear Reader,

I haven’t seen many people discuss physical depression, in fact, I don’t really know much about it. I say I don’t know much about it because I don’t really understand how it works. I have experienced it, but I can’t explain it, but on my worst days my depression is not just crippling mentally but also physically. Continue reading

Idealistic Nostalgia

Dear Reader,

It’s been a strange day. And I think it has made me contemplate the past and its effect on my present. Today I saw my ex boyfriend for the first time in a while. He came into my place of work which was slightly unnerving, in fact the other people who were working today remarked on how awkward I looked. And I was awkward, because it takes me time to be able to act naturally around someone again if I haven’t seen them for a long time and because even though he has been telling me for weeks he is coming back to this city. It still caught me off guard to see him. Continue reading

Not a Diary Entry, a Chronicling of my Mental Instability

Dear Reader,

I’ve sat on this post for about a week, I didn’t want my blog to become a daily diary, I wanted it to be a chronicle of my random experiences. But, as I have mentioned before when I have written a diary-esque pieces sometimes I think they are useful for me to see my daily decline. I write these pieces over the day. This one was written over a day last week during an especially stressful day at work where I was basically left to be the parent of a group of immature staff children. What follows is the deterioration of my mental wellbeing over the day. Continue reading

Here Comes the Anxiety

Dear Reader,

This is incredibly hard for me to write, but I know writing helps me acknowledge the truth about certain things that are happening with my mental health. Often these concerns are facts that I am not really ready to deal with emotionally. But, sometimes facing the truth is better than hiding behind it and pretending it’s not happening. Continue reading