Positivity

Dear Reader,

I have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently as I am sure you are aware from my posts. My mood swings have gotten pretty crazy, but I think this may be to do with my medication, maybe I need an increase, or maybe to just try something entirely different, something which I will discuss with my doctor when I visit next.

Today has been a better day, I have been quite happy, I got a new watch today. This is a little thing, but to me it’s a big deal. I haven’t worn a watch for a few months now and I get paranoid about the time sometimes, I don’t know why. I am a bit of a clock watcher, I like to be precise, I will put that down to the Aspergers. I know people tend to not wear watches anymore because they have phones to tell the time, but it’s always been important for me to have the time on my wrist. I found it very difficult to learn to tell the time, I was around 9 when I finally learnt. Back then I thought it was because I was stupid, now I know it was probably due to my dyslexia, which is probably also the reason I can’t tie shoelaces like a “normal” person. The again being “normal” has never really been very “me”.

I am feeling a lot better than I was at the start of the week and that truly is a blessing, I don’t like to feel down, but at the same time I know my depression is my inspiration, so I would be happy for it to be a moderate annoyance then a constant soul crushing, head-trip.

Something that has been overwhelming to me is the support I have gotten from the community on here. The comments I have received on my posts have been so supportive, inspiring and heart warming and I am so grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read what I have written, liked and commented on my posts. Everyone who has supported me in the last few months have really been amazing. When I began writing this blog it was private for the first month or so. I wasn’t sure I would ever unleash my thoughts on the world, but the response I have received has shown me that I really did do the right thing and that truly is the best gift I could have gotten from my experience so far.

I may not be better, I may not be ok. But knowing there are people out there that want to listen and support me truly means so much me. I am inspired to keep writing about my mental health journey. I just hope everyone doesn’t get tired of me.

As Always,

The “Thankful” Elephant in the Room

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20 thoughts on “Positivity

  1. Meds dosages are hard to adjust. A person very close to me has been on antidepressants and a lot of heavy meds for years, and the dosage changes every couple of months or so. Try to have patience and it will work out. I can’t say I know what your going through from personal experience, but I have witnessed it very closely and I can tell you: it gets better!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How can we get tired of reading your meaningful words. Many of us are looking in a mirror through your writings. We may not be where you are today, but may have been there in the past. Sharing our ups and downs will spread hope when we talk about our successes and we are compassionate when we share your pain as we relate to it. Keep on keeping on.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m doing the doodle dance. It makes my heart sing when you’re happy. Keep doing it and the GIRL prefers a watch n her arm. Me, those darn things just don’t stay on paws. But I can’t tell time anyway. The BOY learned time at like 15. I’m dancing….. Doodle style of course

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am glad that you are starting to feel a little better and that you are viewing your depression as your inspiration, that is truly a great way to look at it! I may have to start looking at it that way.
    Thankyou for sharing, and I will keep reading your posts :’)

    Like

  5. I got out my I pad just now purely to see how you are. You matter so much you know! I can now go and pick my daughter up from college feeling happier that you are feeling more positive. I am convinced after dealing with my own depression and both my daughters that medication plays a huge part. When you have found a beneficial drug and dose you are able to help yourself more, and it just continues to get better. Will never get tired of hearing from you and you will help others to feel able to voice their own demons too. Incidentally my youngest child now 18, is also dyslexic ( still struggles with telling the time) and manages her OCD. We are all very brave and that includes YOU!

    Liked by 1 person

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