I have been going through a bit of a rough patch recently as I am sure you are aware from my posts. My mood swings have gotten pretty crazy, but I think this may be to do with my medication, maybe I need an increase, or maybe to just try something entirely different, something which I will discuss with my doctor when I visit next.
Today has been a better day, I have been quite happy, I got a new watch today. This is a little thing, but to me it’s a big deal. I haven’t worn a watch for a few months now and I get paranoid about the time sometimes, I don’t know why. I am a bit of a clock watcher, I like to be precise, I will put that down to the Aspergers. I know people tend to not wear watches anymore because they have phones to tell the time, but it’s always been important for me to have the time on my wrist. I found it very difficult to learn to tell the time, I was around 9 when I finally learnt. Back then I thought it was because I was stupid, now I know it was probably due to my dyslexia, which is probably also the reason I can’t tie shoelaces like a “normal” person. The again being “normal” has never really been very “me”.
I am feeling a lot better than I was at the start of the week and that truly is a blessing, I don’t like to feel down, but at the same time I know my depression is my inspiration, so I would be happy for it to be a moderate annoyance then a constant soul crushing, head-trip.
Something that has been overwhelming to me is the support I have gotten from the community on here. The comments I have received on my posts have been so supportive, inspiring and heart warming and I am so grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read what I have written, liked and commented on my posts. Everyone who has supported me in the last few months have really been amazing. When I began writing this blog it was private for the first month or so. I wasn’t sure I would ever unleash my thoughts on the world, but the response I have received has shown me that I really did do the right thing and that truly is the best gift I could have gotten from my experience so far.
I may not be better, I may not be ok. But knowing there are people out there that want to listen and support me truly means so much me. I am inspired to keep writing about my mental health journey. I just hope everyone doesn’t get tired of me.
The “Thankful” Elephant in the Room