Crash Landing Imminent

Dear Reader,

I thought I would at least have a few days where I was ok over christmas but sadly not. Christmas was not the day I wanted it to be. I ended up going to the hospital for two hours.  Continue reading

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Hooked on a Feeling

Dear Reader,

It’s a Christmas miracle. My Christmas spirit came and punched me square in the face. But, I have been bottling it up because since its return things have gone on to a strange downward spiral and I’m struggling to feel anything, happiness or sadness. Continue reading

The Downfall of my Christmas Spirit

Dear Reader,

It took me a while to write this, as I have said I’m struggling with my lack of Christmas spirit. Maybe it’s because I still have another doctors appointment before Christmas. I struggle to relax when I know I have an impending appointment. I struggle with doctors appointments for the most ridiculous reason ever. I am terrified one of my family members (extended included) that use the same doctors surgery, will see me in there and either A) ask questions which I don’t really want to answer or B) say to my parents “I saw Elephant at the doctors!” and they will start interrogating me as to why I was there. So here is a piece I started on Saturday. Continue reading

Am I Dangerous?

Dear Reader,

I fucked up, I fucked up bad. I decided to talk to, work about my mental health problems. Part of me instantly regretted it but, I have been telling myself it would be ok. Then on Saturday I was told my manager wanted to know if a risk assessment needed to be done for me, at first I thought maybe it was a good idea. But as my manager is completely useless in doing anything proactive I found it disheartening to know that was his response. Continue reading