Pitty and fear: Or, Why I Am Not Yet Ready To Be Referred

Dear Reader,

Welcome to my first post for Blog For Mental Health 2015. Please find more information about this fantastic project here: http://blogformentalhealth.com/ Its really easy to take part and help raise awareness.

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.” Continue reading

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The Versatile Blogger Award

Dear Reader,

My memory is appalling, so I am not sure if I have mentioned this before. But i struggle to motivate myself sometimes. Well, not so much motivate. More, do things which I see as “completing” tasks. For some reason I don’t like to complete things. What I mean by this is that I really appreciate all of the comments I get on my blog. But out of this weird fear of completion I don’t always reply to comments and I know I should. But as I also have an incredibly bad short term memory (Thanks dyslexia!) I also forget about things and for that I am truly sorry. Continue reading

I Am Disappointed In Myself

Dear Reader,

So I’m disappointed in myself. It used to be a conscious effort, or at least a known effort to pretend that I was ok, But now I just do it without thinking, and I find that horrifying. For example. I have been getting to work feeling my usual pensive self, but before I know it I’m acting like everythings ok again. And then I realise what I am doing and I get really annoyed at myself. Because I am not happy. And I do not want to pretend I am anymore. Continue reading

Post University Debt

Dear Reader,

When you become a student’s person literally throw money at you. Which is stupid, because if I know anything, it is that the majority of people (students or not) is stupid when it comes to money, especially when they are given a large amount of it. Continue reading

If All Else Fails You Can Blame It On Me

Dear Reader,

Something I really don’t understand is why people care about me. That sounded a lot more ominous than I wanted it to. What I mean is, people see the good in me that I can’t force myself to see. When you spend a lot of time with someone, their true character comes out, I know my true character and I am not proud of myself. I would be very skeptical of myself if I was to meet myself, and maybe that’s why I instantly take a dislike to people who I see certain character traits in that I have. Continue reading

Parents

Dear Reader,

“I’m stressed!” My Mother proclaims as she thrusts a doctor’s note in my face. Two weeks off for her to sit and nap in a chair and two weeks of hell for me where I become a prisoner in my own bedroom to escape the nagging. Continue reading

My Faltering Brain

Dear Reader,

At the beginning of 2014, I was at, what I would probably consider, my lowest point. As 2015 began I felt I was anywhere near that low point, until I really considered my feelings and realised. Nothing has really changed. I’m not sure in all honesty what is keeping me here anymore. When I say “here” I don’t necessarily mean “alive”, I mean, physically here. Continue reading