The Funeral

Dear Reader,

I despise being woken up early. So when I was woken at 7am by my mum for a funeral that started at 10am I wasn’t happy, I wake up at the most 1.5 hours before I need to be somewhere. There is no need for me to be awake earlier. So I got an extra 15 minutes in before she began the old, school ritual of yelling “are you awake?”  through my door. The panicky feeling began when I woke up, and it didn’t stop all day. Continue reading

I Am Not Ready: Part 1

Dear Reader,

On the day my mum visited the doctor just a few hours after me. I was scared. When she returned I quickly realised he hadn’t said anything (obvious I guess) but, what I suddenly felt was a lot worse.
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Cold Turkey: An Apology

I am an idiot. And that is the truth. I am about to write something that I am actually incredibly ashamed about. Even if I don’t understand my own actions at this time. it’s hard to know that I purposely put myself in danger.
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Emotional Incest

Dear Reader,

I want to start with a definition of emotional incest because I think it will be a new term for some people. Incest implies a sexual relationship and this is not so much about sex but about emotions. I don’t want to call this abuse because I don’t think anything my Mother did was born out of malice. Emotional Incest happens when a relationship between a parent and child becomes inappropriate, in that the child plays the role of a surrogate “partner” which leaves the child feeling emotionally in charge of the parent, something which is inappropriate for the child’s age and life experience.
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