Could I Write A Book?

Dear Reader,

Last week I was telling a friend of mine that since helping to clear my nans house I was feeling down. To cut a long story short I told her that sometimes I get to a point where I am beyond down, I’m frustrated or just exhausted and I think “maybe I should just kill myself.” in response to this she asked me “What is so bad in your life?”

I was taken a back by this really, I thought she understood me. She suffers with depression to, I thought we helped each other. I don’t believe in saying someone experience is worse than someone elses when it comes to depression, but I do often worry she feels she has a valid reason for her depression and I don’t. That actually really sucks.

So, I repeated this over and over in my head for the rest of the day. “What is so bad in my life?” and it upset me because things kept coming to mind that made me realise that I do have a lot of things in my life that I can’t always control, and they make me sad.

At 1AM, I was lying in bed tossing and turning as usual. and I thought. “I’m going to write a list, and then im going to show her and then she will understand that my life isn’t as great as she thinks.” I wrote a long list for someone who was drifting in and out of consciousness, I wont bore you with the details, but something that really stood out when I was being honest was that I really do not know what I am doing. And not in that whimsical way TV characters “don’t know what they doing. I mean I really, really have no idea what I am doing with my life.

I have no plan beyond going to work tomorrow. That is literally it.

So I thought about what I wanted, and that’s a really hard question. I’m so indecisive and such a creäture of habit that i just go along with my decisions until I can no longer carry on with them.

Do I want a new job?

Honestly? No, im not sure I could handle a full-time job and I really like the people I work with. And as much as I complain about it, I like my job.

Do I want a new hobby?

I’m not sure I have time for a new hobby. Well, not one that involved going outside of my house. Because I like being at home too much.

So what the hell do I want?

Could I write a book? maybe I could do that?

I’m sure you have seen how these new books by young comedians have become successful, books full of short essays about their lives, maybe I could write that, except about mental illness?

I mean, my experiences aren’t particularly funny, well, not at the time but it doesn’t have to be funny, it just has to let people read it and think “Wow. I totally relate to that.” I just want people to not feel so alone but without me having to physically spend time with people. You know what I mean?

But do I have

A) The writing ability (Although, from some books I have read maybe this isn’t so much a big deal.)

B) Enough things to fill a book? (Although this blog does span roughly 90,000 words. which is a lot considering the average for a book is about 65,000)

C) Would anyone really want to read it?

D) Could I really get published? (I doubt it. but maybe just writing a book would be the push I need to make me feel like I achieved something.)

So maybe writing a book is the solution to my problems, or maybe it’s another silly idea I have had. This blog has 128 posts (this one included)  apparently I have a lot moe to say then I thought. And apparently there are a lot of amazing people out their that actually want to read what i have to say!

As Always,

The Elephant in the Room

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10 thoughts on “Could I Write A Book?

  1. Of all the people I read in our little group I believe you have the greatest potential of being successful in writing.You fill your book with your short essays(?) I’ll be out front of the store waiting to get the book autographed or get one in my mailbox a week before it’s published ( Nudge nudge you know what I mean, know what I mean).

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  2. I am doing this. I am focused on a trilogy of 65,000 word books about my life and career since my first hospitalization. Since I’m on disability, material success might just complicate my life but I’ve heard that it’s affordable to go on this Amazon Create Space spot and upload after selecting or creating cover design. Then there is the issue of formatting, which I know nothing about. I’ve heard that there are varying formats for different digital bookstores. I’ll worry about all that later. I’ve really enjoyed the mental health memoirs and works of fiction (with a protagonist with a mental health condition like Allie Burke’s “Paper Soul’s”) so I have the same idea. I want people to feel less alone. Allison

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  3. You definitely have the talent to write. Since you have so many blog posts, you really have already started. Writing a book seems like it would fit very well with the life you enjoy leading. I think you might be on to something!

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  4. I suggest you decide why you want to write. If it’s to make money then write a novel or book and keep submitting it to publishers. If it’s just to publish then Bipolarbrainiac is correct about Amazon. It’s free to set up and easy to use with a little patience. I’ve come to the point where I write for the sake of writing. The publishing side of it all I don’t have the hunger for but certainly the writing side of it is both rewarding and cathartic. I suggest you get your work proof read but other than that, go for it 🙂

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  5. I think you could do a book. Some people just go and start writing, other people like to plan it all out ahead of time. You might want to pick a process that matches how you write for your blog. Regardless, if you can do 90,000 words here, then you can do enough for your own book!

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  6. An e-book is completely free to write (on Kindle, anyhow), dead easy to set up, using their free guide and can be any length you like and any price you like. It’s a great place to start, anyhow, and you don’t have to worry about distribution rights, printing and postage costs and so forth.
    Go for it!

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