I’m Sorry I Went AWOL

Dear Reader,

I’m sorry ive been away, I’ve had a bit of a stupid time, stupid because ive been stupid. But ill get in to that later.

So last week was my birthday, I hate my birthday. You see I hate being reminded that I am a year older and have achieved nothing, it really gets to me, it makes me feel really down. But, my birthday also makes me feel crappy because I have to spend so much time socialising.

I love my friends, but my birthday week is literally the worst, first I had dinner with my family, then the next day I met two of my friends, the day after 4 friends, and then after that I met another friend. socialising is so draining to me, doing that much socialising in a week really gets to me. by saturday I was exhausted.

But good news, from saturday this week I have a week off of work and I can not wait! I was supposed to have a week off in August but it was cancelled for various work reasons. so I havent had time off since March. But now I have 3 weeks off over the next 6. Which is good, I guess. It means I can spend time catching up on stuff like blogging and cleaning.

I said at the beginning I had been stupid, and I have. You see I havent been taking my medication properly. I’ve been missing days out, not just the odd day, but like 3-4 days then taking it then missing more days. I know it’s a terrible thing to do. I know its dangerous. But I guess im just a very self-destructive person.

Its like the medication starts to work and some part of me decides that nope, that’s not ok. Which sucks, I’ve got an idea for a full post about how self-destructive I can be so I won’t go into it much here, but its something I’m really only recently discovering about myself, and as Im sure you can imagine. Its making me feel pretty crappy.

Anyway, I hope everyone’s ok, and I plan to write a more in-depth, more interesting and relevent post soon. Thanks for reading.

As Always,

The Elephant in the Room

 

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