Fear and Loathing in (a) Blog Hiatus

Dear Reader,

I seem to have taken an involuntary hiatus. It’s been a long time since I wrote anything and I feel bad about that. Sometimes I get to a point where I keep putting things off and then I feel embarrassed and feel it’s too late to do something and feel like an idiot. I’m sorry everyone. In fact the only way to describe how I felt was that I was scared to come online and find more work to do when I didn’t have the brain capacity to do the work I had in real life. In fact. it was a more exaggerated way of the way I feel about texts and facebook. Often I will receive a facebook message or text and avoid it at all costs because I am terrified about having a conversation that leads to me making more excuses to not meet them. Continue reading

Unacceptable Behaviour

Dear Reader,

I have been dealing with something for the last week that I can only describe as unacceptable, it’s taken me a while to really comprehend the situation and its effect on me. But I have realised that what I have experienced is truly unacceptable.

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Where Do I Begin

Dear Reader,

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

It’s been over a week since I last posted, and to be honest I’m not really sure why. I have been really struggling with my motivation recently. But I feel like that’s an excuse, and I don’t want to use excuses. Because the truth is that writing and knowing people want to read it, is really one of the only things I have in my life. Now that may sound a bit dramatic. But honestly. The only “constant” things I really have are this blog and work. Continue reading

I Am Not Ready: Part 1

Dear Reader,

On the day my mum visited the doctor just a few hours after me. I was scared. When she returned I quickly realised he hadn’t said anything (obvious I guess) but, what I suddenly felt was a lot worse.
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Cold Turkey: An Apology

I am an idiot. And that is the truth. I am about to write something that I am actually incredibly ashamed about. Even if I don’t understand my own actions at this time. it’s hard to know that I purposely put myself in danger.
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