Citalopram Strikes Again!

Dear Reader,

Yesterday was my day off of work. I had a list of things I needed to do, but at 3AM I woke up and didn’t get back to sleep until gone 6AM. When I finally woke up the next day it was 12PM.

Assertion

Dear Reader,

So today was D-Day, or as any normal person would call it, Doctor day, in fact no. They would probably just call it Thursday. 

Man Up

Dear Reader,

Do you want to know how pathetic I am? Do you want to know how stupid I am? Today I took the knife I carry around with me everywhere (for fear of loosing it) and scored a line down my arm. Worse than the normal lines I insist on cutting all over myself this was deeper, it wasn’t as long but it was definitely deeper. It bled a lot and good! I deserve that.

Intrusive thoughts

Dear reader,

It’s come to my attention that my irrational thoughts are not as irrational as I once thought.Tonight I am struggling to sleep, I hate this. I am lying awake thinking about what it is that truly causes me anxiety.

When does “Worse” Become “Worst”?

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

Dear Reader,

I wrote this last night, at the time I wasn’t embarrassed by this post. I wanted to post it right away. When it hit 3 am and I was still awake I thought back about what I had done and now I am completely embarrassed by my stupid actions and my stupid brain. I am visiting the doctor tomorrow. annoyingly they called to change my appointment today. I hate change. So here it is, one bad day.

A Short Story About my Doctors Visit

Dear Reader,

So, today is my first visit to the my regular doctor post breakdown and post medication increases. I am not looking forward to this appointment.

Quarantine: Part 2

Dear Reader,

It’s day 2 of my self exiled attempt at relaxing. As you probably saw from yesterday I’m not relaxing, I’m depressed, more depressed than usual.