Citalopram Strikes Again!

Dear Reader,

Yesterday was my day off of work. I had a list of things I needed to do, but at 3AM I woke up and didn’t get back to sleep until gone 6AM. When I finally woke up the next day it was 12PM.

Assertion

Dear Reader,

So today was D-Day, or as any normal person would call it, Doctor day, in fact no. They would probably just call it Thursday. 

Man Up

Dear Reader,

Do you want to know how pathetic I am? Do you want to know how stupid I am? Today I took the knife I carry around with me everywhere (for fear of loosing it) and scored a line down my arm. Worse than the normal lines I insist on cutting all over myself this was deeper, it wasn’t as long but it was definitely deeper. It bled a lot and good! I deserve that.

Intrusive thoughts

Dear reader,

It’s come to my attention that my irrational thoughts are not as irrational as I once thought.Tonight I am struggling to sleep, I hate this. I am lying awake thinking about what it is that truly causes me anxiety.

When does “Worse” Become “Worst”?

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

Dear Reader,

I wrote this last night, at the time I wasn’t embarrassed by this post. I wanted to post it right away. When it hit 3 am and I was still awake I thought back about what I had done and now I am completely embarrassed by my stupid actions and my stupid brain. I am visiting the doctor tomorrow. annoyingly they called to change my appointment today. I hate change. So here it is, one bad day.

A Short Story About my Doctors Visit

Dear Reader,

So, today is my first visit to the my regular doctor post breakdown and post medication increases. I am not looking forward to this appointment.

Quarantine: Part 2

Dear Reader,

It’s day 2 of my self exiled attempt at relaxing. As you probably saw from yesterday I’m not relaxing, I’m depressed, more depressed than usual.

Suicidal Tendencies

Dear Reader,

Looking someone in the face, deadpan, and telling them you want to kill yourself is a surprisingly haunting thing to do.