Why I Shouldn’t Have Friends

Dear Reader,

I can’t have friends. I’m not ok and I can’t pretend I am ok with everyone in my life anymore and now it seems that the people who I can’t pretend in front of anymore, can’t take me anymore.

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I Am Not Ready: Part 2

Dear Reader,

Tomorrow is the day of the funeral, a day I have been dreading for some time now. Continue reading

Cold Turkey: An Apology

I am an idiot. And that is the truth. I am about to write something that I am actually incredibly ashamed about. Even if I don’t understand my own actions at this time. it’s hard to know that I purposely put myself in danger.
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I Am Disappointed In Myself

Dear Reader,

So I’m disappointed in myself. It used to be a conscious effort, or at least a known effort to pretend that I was ok, But now I just do it without thinking, and I find that horrifying. For example. I have been getting to work feeling my usual pensive self, but before I know it I’m acting like everythings ok again. And then I realise what I am doing and I get really annoyed at myself. Because I am not happy. And I do not want to pretend I am anymore. Continue reading

Crash Landing Imminent

Dear Reader,

I thought I would at least have a few days where I was ok over christmas but sadly not. Christmas was not the day I wanted it to be. I ended up going to the hospital for two hours.  Continue reading