Christmas Time Is Here…. Again.

Dear Reader,

So it’s been a really long time since I wrote anything. And the truth is I have been really busy and just been too tired to write. I work in retail which at this time of year is rewarding, frustrating and exhausting in equal measures. I haven’t really had a proper day off this month, by that I mean a day when I didn’t have to force myself to get out of bed and leave the house to either meet someone or buy presents.  Continue reading

Could I Write A Book?

Dear Reader,

Last week I was telling a friend of mine that since helping to clear my nans house I was feeling down. To cut a long story short I told her that sometimes I get to a point where I am beyond down, I’m frustrated or just exhausted and I think “maybe I should just kill myself.” in response to this she asked me “What is so bad in your life?”

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Where Do I Begin

Dear Reader,

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

It’s been over a week since I last posted, and to be honest I’m not really sure why. I have been really struggling with my motivation recently. But I feel like that’s an excuse, and I don’t want to use excuses. Because the truth is that writing and knowing people want to read it, is really one of the only things I have in my life. Now that may sound a bit dramatic. But honestly. The only “constant” things I really have are this blog and work. Continue reading

I Don’t Know What I Am Doing

Dear Reader,

I’m getting increasingly worried about my doctor’s appointment on Thursday. It’s stupid that I have spent the past week getting increasingly more worried about this, but I’m also scared. See, to quote my favourite book right now I’m feeling “both happy and sad, and I am still trying to figure out how that can be.” Continue reading

Anxiety Level: Critical

Dear Reader,

I can’t sleep, I am too on edge, I’m freaking out over stupid things and its driving me crazy. It’s really horrible how realising you have so much to do can make a person freak out so much. You see tomorrow is my day off, and I have a list of things I need to do. But this list has only contributed to another list anxieties which has turned my anxiety level from moderate to critical in a matter of minutes. Continue reading