I Am Embarrassed By My Thoughts

Dear Reader,

I’m struggling with something, and I think it’s because I’m having trouble explaining it but it’s making me feel guilty and embarrassed for the way I feel and, I’m just so confused. But hear me out.

Well That Was Unexpected

Dear Reader,

I went to the doctors last week fully expecting to fight. I expected to be shot down and told I was being silly. But I got the opposite. I got exactly what I wanted.

Feeling Good

Dear Reader,

So, its been a really long time since my last post, in fact, I think its almost a month and I feel bad because I kept having all of these ideas (which I should have written down) and then I didn’t act on them or do anything useful. since I’ve been on the 150mg dose of Sertraline I’ve been feeling pretty good. And I think I have finally found “the dose”

Mirrored Sympathy

Dear Reader,

So, since I started writing here I think I have become a lot more sympathetic to people’s problems. I’ve learnt that regardless of the size of the problem to the outside, that problem could be devastating to the individual and because of that its impossible to judge how something can affect someone. We all react to things differently.

Let me tell you a little story….

My Brain Is About To Explode.

Dear Reader,

So it’s been a week since my doctors visit which I didn’t talk about because I was upset at the time and I still am now. I was happy to be going to see a doctor that was really nice and supportive last time I saw him and that made me feel better. But his attitude was different this time and I just left feeling deflated.

No Change

I have always found humour to be the only way that I am able to not only understand other people, but also to understand myself. However, from the disgusted tone of my mother’s voice last night. Telling her, jokingly that I no longer care about anything was a mistake. In fact, a direct quote from her would be “you’re being ridiculous. Don’t say that again.” 

Mental Discomfort

Trigger Warning: Brief Self Harm Mention

Dear Reader,

So, it’s been a bit of a weird week and the only way to really describe it is “mentally uncomfortable” I know that sounds odd, but I really can’t describe the way I feel at the moment.

I Was Ok!

Dear Reader,

This post has a Trigger Warning, mentions of Self-harm and Suicide.

I don’t know why I thought this time would be different, I guess deep down I am an optimist, no matter how negative I seem vocally. I don’t want to keep blaming Citalopram for this, but this only seems to happen when I increase or decrease this stupid medication. And I guess I don’t really know what to do.

Cold Turkey: An Apology

I am an idiot. And that is the truth. I am about to write something that I am actually incredibly ashamed about. Even if I don’t understand my own actions at this time. it’s hard to know that I purposely put myself in danger.

Surprise!

Dear Reader,

Today has been an interesting day. And I think you are all going to be proud of. Well, I hope you will.